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Laughter is the best medicine

And you thought you were in a bad accident

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AWFUL STATEMENTS TO INSURANCE COMPANIES

The following are actual written statements made by car drivers who were attempting to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words. People's ability to point fingers at others and avoid blaming themselves can make one laugh or cry.

  • The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
  • The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
  • I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
  • An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
  • Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
  • The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.
  • I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.
  • I thought my window was down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
  • I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
  • A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
  • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
  • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
  • In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
  • I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
  • My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
  • I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
  • I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
  • I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
  • As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.


DON'T DRIVE CLOSE TO AN ELEPHANT!

These photos were taken at the Pilanesberg Game Reserve in South Africa. The fellow in the white Volkswagen was trying to get past the elephant.

Click on the photograph to start the slideshow.

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DRIVING ETIQUETTE

A woman is driving at night on a narrow country road. At the same time, a man is driving in the opposite direction on that same road.

Chris Temple Law Surrey BC

When they narrowly pass each other at high speed, the woman rolls down her window and loudly shouts

Donkey!

Immediately the man shouts back.

BITCH!

The man laughs.
He is proud to have reacted so quickly to the shouting woman and takes the next turn in the road, maintaining his speed.

car donkey crash icbc

Moral of the story: Men never listen and, when they do, they don't understand one word a woman says.


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